PharmJon consulting update
I'm 2 months in and I'm most happy about not being a resident
Listen kids, not to brag, but I work now. Blogging is very low on the priority totem pole.
If you’re a fiend for that high-volume-🔥-content, I’m very sure 20% of your graduating class is flexing that #ResidencyLife. Give em a holla for me.
Consulting first impressions.
Expectations, expectations, expectations. Especially before beginning your grind at a consulting firm, expectations put the whole game into perspective. My colleagues that had wildly different perceptions than the reality of what they walked into immediately become miserable. For those of us that we’re ready to get crushed on a Tuesday night and then ride the wave back up to summer Fridays…we’re doing just fine.
Hours: You absolutely do not work 40 hours a week. I’ve also yet to put in more than 65-ish, although my time will come. My honest average is probably around 55 hours weekly and days ebb and flow with the workload. When it’s all said and done, I don’t work “normal people” hours, but I’m also not a banker on the clock Saturday and Sunday putting in 80+. I grind Monday through Thursday afternoon, coast through most Fridays, and unplug for the entirety of the weekend.
Daily priorities: It was pretty linear to me when I signed my offer letter, but I guess this point flew right over a few of my colleague’s heads. When you accept a job that’s paying big bucks, the deal is that in exchange for the cash, the firm you’re working for becomes your top priority. Simple as that. It’s great that you want to train for a marathon, but the firm has business to do, baby. Welcome to the real world.
Consulting is a service business: Client wants the deck at 8 AM tomorrow? You’re staying up to do it. Client wants to pivot the entire project scope? You nod your head and say yes (or really the partner does cause I’m not pretty enough to be on webcam during client meetings). Leave your pride at the door. It’s pretty helpful for assimilating into the nuances of how this game is played.
The upside - I’m a Queen
Paycheck and job perks. A very legitimate paycheck is confirmed way cooler than getting good grades. Way cooler. Let me highlight a few work perks for my #Pharmily:
My gross pay has already reached the level of a yearly residency stipend
I don’t pay for dinner anymore - expensed nightly
I also don’t pay for Uber/Lyft rides home from the office - they’re also expensed nightly
Beer cart every Friday along with snacks, drinks, and coffee obviously abundant and free
Social events thus far include two rooftop open bars* and a professional baseball game with per diem
*Open bar includes being actually unlimited and actually open and also subject to steak appetizers
In the works: riverboat booze cruise, ski trip, big-budget Holiday party
The downside - I’m a pawn
You pay the price for the glitz, the glam, and the baddest LinkedIn headline of your graduating class. The turnover rate is no joke. You make friends on Monday and wave goodbye as they exit by Friday EOD. There’s no love in this game. For example:
My days and weeks have very little consistency. My day-to-day is 50% dependent on the case I’m staffed to (strategy work being much different than due diligence work) and 50% dependent on how much the partners hate my output from any previous days.
You have to be a special kind of dummy (and I’m one of them, so I mean this is the best possible way) to create shapes and align them in PowerPoint all day long. It’s actually kind of hilarious if I’m being honest. A lot of my day, especially at my level, is spent doing tedious slide work. It’ll be tough to make your consulting job your personality as you inch towards changing the world, one slide deck at a time.
Ever scroll through any consulting meme content? It’s actually fairly accurate. My life is now a consulting meme.
Every once and a while my work makes the main deck. More than once I’ve been on the grind for weeks, produced an output, and it all gets thrown out in a 10-minute meeting. Relegated to the deep, dark, dungeon of the appendix. School of hard knocks.
Am I the a**hole for getting a pharmacy degree?
Maybe. But let’s be real about my story.
I wasn’t even close to being academically connected enough out of undergrad to land a consulting gig (small liberal arts school grad)
Pharmacy stays a fantastic entry point for jobs across biopharma (jobs I still aim to have one day)
Based on my personal professional trajectory, my investment thesis around obtaining the degree is most definitely intact
It was exactly Fourth of July weekend this year I realized just how terrible these residents, across all medical fields, actually have it though. That weekend I was very busy golfing, catching rays on the beach, and being intoxicated. Residents were starting their programs and copping their first weekend shifts. It truly is pure evil to hire a bunch of qualified individuals, criminally underpay them, and then force the newbies to keep the institution afloat while you leave to party with the rest of America. And I thought JPMorgan had a toxic workplace environment.
PharmJon’s pharmacy social media recap.
I could not be any less jealous of any single person starting any single residency program. It’s the culture of pharmacy and pharmacists that just flat out confuses me. Cringe-worthy..? Corny..? Disconnected..? Probably all of the above.
The new kids on the block - PGY1s
Why do newly minted residents literally have glow-ups? Like actual photoshoots in their brand new coats and work outfits with all their brand new friends. The last time I took that many photos, ever, was high school prom. Are they actually that proud of themselves? Or are they overcompensating for their truly unfortunate situations?
Wow! A charcuterie board from your preceptor!? - Tell me more about how great the $50, pre-made, non-Boar's Head charcuterie board tastes.
Awesome! A night out at the local suburban shopping center’s escape room!? - see the above “The Upside - I’m a Queen” section for the levels to work perks.
So lucky! A new badge and a pager!? - My cousin’s Snapchat feed from 1993 is calling to let you know how cool that is.
The old souls - PGY2s
You know the post I’m referring to here. The one with the whole PGY1 #squad on their last day. The caption says something along the lines of “I survived! It was so hard! Love and support! I’m planning on foregoing an actual salary for another entire year!”
The absolute best part of those pictures is finding the guy (he’s a part of every residency class) doing the hang-loose sign like he just finished his first Mike’s Hard at an 8th-grade house party. You’re the man in those khakis your Mom got you for Christmas last year.
Nice! A certificate of completion!? - Pharmacy culture stays incredibly toxic, handing out participation trophies instead of real-life incentives (e.g., cash, additional time off, promotions). It’s comical how sad the cycle is.
Congrats! A superlative from your co-residents!? - This reminds me of one of my many academic achievements. I once got a certificate for creative writing in 5th grade. My teacher was pumped, my parents were golf clapping, no one really cared.
What an honor! Resident of the year!? - Can anyone pitch the upside here? Like, if I’m the “Resident of the Year” versus being ranked 10th out of 10 residents in my class, how do our career prospects differ? When I work extra hard, I get more cash. And that just makes much more sense. See some of my previous work if you’re a cash lover, like myself - C.R.E.A.M.
Godspeed to my industry fellow friends.
And to my industry fellow friends, best of luck. For real. Besides the guy that did the IG take over for MCPHS. 🚨 CHOOCH ALERT 🚨
We get it, dude. You meditate, lift, and vape. I didn’t need you to yell at me with your hands all over the place about it. No one learned anything from the posts, besides that you’re questionable.
Conclusion.
The most impressive thing you can do is not brag about anything you do. Remember that. And I’ll remember you, Pharmacy Residents of America, as the beer cart squeaks its way around the corner next Friday.